


A Place Where I Can't Touch You

by lightofwonderlands



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Implied/Referenced Abuse, M/M, Why Did I Write This?, XiuHan - Freeform, possible trigger warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-21
Updated: 2015-10-21
Packaged: 2018-04-27 08:57:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 958
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5042071
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lightofwonderlands/pseuds/lightofwonderlands
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"A place where I can't touch you and can't even hold you"<br/>-Exo's "Moonlight"</p><p>Minseok thinks about where it all went wrong and wonders, not for the first time, if it was all his fault.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Place Where I Can't Touch You

**Author's Note:**

> This is based on Exo's "Moonlight." I tried. Read at your own risk.

Minseok wondered, not for the first time, if there was something he could've done to prevent it. It was nearly impossible for him not to dwell on the what ifs seeing as Lu Han was his best friend and Minseok was  ~~not so~~ secretly in love with him.

 

One Year Ago

Minseok was in for another long night. Lu Han had drug him to a club and he was currently sitting at the bar downing shot after shot and drink after drink trying to numb the pain. Why Lu Han thought he had to come he'll never know but one thing he was sure of was that it was never happening again.

_"Yes it will. You know you can never say no to his doe eyes."_

 Damn his conscious for being right. Those doe eyes were the reason he was here and the said eyes weren't even with him, they were on the dance floor with the guy Lu Han had been pining over ever since he walked in the door. So of course when they started dancing Minseok headed to the bar, not necessarily because he wanted a drink but because he couldn't stand to watch Lu Han with his head thrown back in laughter and a smile on his face so bright it seemed to light up their corner of the floor. So here he sat, attempting to drown his sorrows in alcohol and generally hating his life at the moment and wishing he was home. And later when Lu Han had come up to him and told him he was going home with his new "friend," well that was just the icing on the cake. Minseok went home that night and wondered, not for the first time, why Lu Han couldn't seem to notice how much better Minseok was for him than random guys picked up from random clubs. And when they announced they were dating around three weeks later, well who would've blamed Minseok if he went home that night, ate all the ice cream in his house, and cried.

 

Minseok remembered all of this as he retraced the exact same path he took the night it happened.

 

 

Six Months Ago

Minseok collapsed on the couch wondering why Lu Han couldn't, wouldn't let Minseok help him. Lu Han and his boyfriend were happy for about three months. Then it went downhill fast. Three months was all it took for his boyfriend to decide Lu Han shouldn't see Minseok anymore. Then he decided he shouldn't see any of their friends anymore, essentially wanting to keep Lu Han a prisoner in his own home. And when Lu Han didn't listen, well he suddenly started falling and tripping and running into things a lot more than he ever did. It didn't take Minseok long to figure out what was happening, but every time he confronted Lu Han about it his boyfriend seemed to always pop up. And Lu Han would have fallen down the stairs again by the next day. Finally Minseok got the chance to confront him about it when his boyfriend was away on a business trip. He told him to go to the police or break up with him but he wouldn't. He claimed his boyfriend was only doing what he thought was best for Lu Han and their relationship, that he was just worried Lu Han would leave him for someone else. That he was only doing it because he loved him.

 

Minseok thought of all of this as he made his way to the clearing. It was a full moon, just the same as the night it all happened, he absentmindedly noticed.

 

 

One Month Ago

Lu Han had finally reached his breaking point. Minseok was terrified when he had gotten a text from Lu Han telling him that he was sorry. That he couldn't do it anymore. That Minseok was right. That he loved him. Minseok had tracked his phone, found him at a pond in a clearing in the middle of the woods. The moon was bright, lighting his way as he tripped and stumbled to the clearing, scared at what he might find when he got there. He was just in time to see Lu Han start to walk into the water.

"Stop!"

Lu Han jumped and turned around, tears streaming down his face.

"Minseok please I don't want this anymore! I'm tired of living this way. I'm tired of being afraid. _I'm tired._ "

"Okay Lu Han. All I ask is that you come lie beside me for a while and don't go into the water, for your wings will get wet, my angel."

And so Lu Han came and they both lay down on the ground, staring up at the stars, both of them shedding silent tears. Minseok, against his will fell asleep and woke to the sun shinning in his face and his left side, where it was previously warmed by Lu Han, cold. He sat up with a start and ran to the water, hoping he wouldn't see what he feared most. However, it was not to be.

"NO!" he screamed. For when he looked into the water it wasn't his reflection staring back at him as he hoped, but Lu Han. Lu Han with his eyes open and for the first time in months, a look of complete serenity on his ashen face.

 

Minseok couldn't stop picturing Lu Han's face in his mind. He thought of his face as he reached the water. He thought of it even as his own went under. In fact, his last thought was of Lu Han, smiling and laughing, and as blackness started to envelop his vision, he saw Lu Han, smiling with his hand outstretched. And he took it.

 


End file.
